What a trying week. People always say that parenting is the toughest job in the world and yes it is. There is no argument here. I'm not perfect, but I have amazing kids. I really do. Well mannered, loving, fun, and super energetic. Don't get me wrong all those qualities also have their pit falls. When they want to sit on your lap while your using the facilities, swinging from the power rack, jumping onto to the trampoline and onto each other, fun can quickly become crying (all those wondering, yes it was Wyatt and more importantly I have video)
But their kids, the minute those little miracles wrapped their tiny fingers around my index finger I vowed that nothing would ever hurt them. You know within your self you can't protect them from everything, But I tried to stick to that as closely as possible. There are somethings I failed at miserably. However, lucky for me my kids are resilient and well-adjusted. I am grateful for that.
I always think that it's gonna get easier, well let me tell you it doesn't. Diapers, bumps, bruises the "F" bomb in front of Grandma, teaching manners, sharing, walk in the park! I would take potty training over this! Again, I am not a perfect parent and I often second guess myself. I carry guilt over not giving in to the toy that all the kids have, my daughter has a curfew, she has to be in the house before the sun goes down. To me, even when she's 15 she is always going to be my baby. I feel no different about that promise I made 12 years ago as she held onto my hand. I often think that maybe I shelter her too much or that I don't loosen the reins enough, arguments "I'm not a baby anymore mom." my personal favorite "Mom! all my friends have it (short shorts...like hell) and all my friends are going to the dance."
Prepare yourself parents....heed this warning with extreme caution. Those words right there are the reason your child will get hurt. To my experience, not all families are as structured as ours (lets be honest, we're pretty dysfunctional). You hear all us 80's babies complaining about our upcoming generation. I was beside myself today in the IDA when my daughter explained to me that she was taking sex ed in school and asked me what a BJ was. I shit on the spot.....ironically at that particular moment I was looking for toilet paper. Good thing too....of course when I asked her where she heard this it was a movie that instigated this.
Now, no parent wants to have to get into these details ever. You know one day the "Talk" is going to happen. So deal with it and move on, I know. But let me tell you I am pissed!!! This year, do to her social circuit, I have had to explain what a douche bag is, and my all time favorite was the "whats a dirty, ditch pig whore?" (she was 10 at the time) She heard other 10 year old girls calling one another these amazing names. When I became a parent, I did not sign on for this, having to explain the deeds of other peoples children. Now that's just a taste of what I'm about to delve into. I understand that I would have to explain these words eventually.
My daughter has this friend that she met a few months back. This girl has a rather troubled home life. Thankfully my daughter has an understanding of mental illness and the severity and emergency of it. This girl is 13. Remember this age. 13 year old girl and my daughter tells me shes worried because she's a "cutter" (self mutilation for the release of internal pain.) and she tells me that this girl often talks about suicide. This girl went so far as to ask my daughter to kill her. What the hell is wrong with this picture? EVERYTHING!!! My daughter came home asking me about these issues, and what they were. What is happening to children? where is there innocence and why is more not being done for them?
My daughter was extremely brave and first went to the teacher and let him know what was happening. Nothing, the teacher did nothing. She came home and approached me with it because she confessed to this girl she was worried and told an adult and now her friend is mad at her. I keep reassuring her that she did the right thing. I am so proud of her. I am beyond words to express how proud she made me. I am fortunate that my daughter trusts me enough to confide in me and know that I will always take the steps needed to protect her. I am fed up with shitty parents out there. Because of you my children have to grow up faster, their minds aren't ready for this information. They are not emotionally strong enough to handle what your parenting has done! It simply isn't fair, these are very adult situations.
I write this more so as a word of advice to anyone with up and coming young ones. Be prepared. Be prepared for everything. I talk about everything with my children, we have open lines of communication, age appropriate answers. Make sure that no matter how busy your lives get, talk to your children, simply asking on a daily basis "how was your day?" makes a huge impact. I appreciate more then anything that my kids come to me with their problems. I may not always be the perfect parent, but I am a proud one! Please take my advice and talk to your kids, start young, always ask about their emotions, even when your disciplining them. Please, please, please pay attention to the mental health of your kids. Be in tune with your child. Make sure your the one they come to first. Hold them, never stop holding them. Smother them with love and affection even when their at their worst.
Well to all my questionable moments as a parent, I know they weren't so bad. I got some great kids!